I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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