It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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