i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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