the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
