Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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