I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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