like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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