i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize