I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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