piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Randomize
