ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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