I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize