you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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