So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
