Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
