Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
