Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize