I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
