So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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