He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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