I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Your cock deserves a montage
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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