He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
