You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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