I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
