I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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