i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
