dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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