I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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