I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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