he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize