Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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