Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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