Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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