Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
