i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I think I died a long time ago.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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