She said her name was "party"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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