i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
