I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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