Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
