can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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