Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he fucked my hip out of place.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
