it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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