talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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