Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
