Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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