i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize