Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize