I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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