i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
