i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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