All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
