Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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