you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
