so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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