that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
