i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Mom said you looked used
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
