ya dads aren't the best wingmen
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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