i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
