but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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